Nilla Waif

Cryptic blog posts drive me up the fucking wall.

That goes for all of you.

It is truly pathetic when you rely on your tumblr to make your life sound interesting and filled with drama (even though you totes hate drama, right? I mean, like, it’s soo middle school! SHUT THE FUCK UP). Jesus Christ.

And the worst part is: I’m guilty of it just like you, except I realize that I’ve been an ass-hat-douche-fuck.This is my apology.

1. Scarlet Johansson  ::  http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/scarlett_johansson_009.jpg

2. Agyness Deyn  ::  http://fashionista.com/images/agyness-deyn.jpg

3. Anne Hathaway  ::  http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/20/202586/34_2008/anne-hathaway-july-08-wire.jpg

4. Zooey Deschanel ::  http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2009/05/29/1243630050-zooey-deschanel.jpg

5. Natalie Portman  ::  http://www.freshnews.in/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/natalie_portman.jpg

What I bawled about last night. I hope to Krishna it stops hurting.

So much music and SO MUCH MUSIC. I am ecstatic and free and stupid and chic and ridiculous in every sort of way. No one knows me and no one knows me, but he, oh he. Come make the light shine brighter, make the grass grow longer over our toes and walk along. So much feeling and SO MUCH FEELING. You are there and nothing more but that’s all I need. You are there and there you are. In you, in you I am safe and ensconced in the magnitude of this FEELING. A scream to scream I scream this phrase: ALL THINGS CHANGE AND WE CHANGE WITH THEM. There are words, so many words, they are gone, so gone. Touch replaces them and it’s all I need and you are there, and there you are. Tap, tap. Hello. In a blanket in the dark the future is there and you are there, and there you are. And and and and and. It continues and the ebb is yet to come and there is dread, but only just. Stroke the stroke of countless loves, across the cheek so lightly, so slightly across your cheek. A cure for this madness, I hope not.

Fevral’. Dostat’ chernil i plakat’!
Pisat’ o fevrale navzryd,
Poka grohochuschaya slyakot’
Vesnoyu chernoyu gorit.

Fevral’. Dostat’ chernil i plakat’!
Pisat’ o fevrale navzryd,
Poka grohochuschaya slyakot’
Vesnoyu chernoyu gorit

It was nice to talk with you, to not fall asleep with you, to gain a new perspective with you. As for my under estimation, I hope to god you’re right because I’m still not convinced. You spoke of love and how it changes you forever (stock), and of course, I was skeptical (and still am). But now I wonder if I’m falling ill to it, or if it is just another bout of infatuation. There is no lust, which is the difference. I want to believe that I’m incapable of it all, but I just want to avoid the pain, vulnerability, and time. A week. A week. Love for a week. Regret for a lifetime.

Brave New World The Great Gatsby Slaughter House Five Also planning on reading Catch-22, and much more Huxley and Vonnegut, Jr. Possibly looking into Sherman Alexei.